I'm going though one of those obsessed phases I seem to go through every few weeks or so and man it's driving me nuts. Never have I been more aware of myself.
Here I am, trying to take photographs, blog and get drawings done, but instead my brain is completely preoccupied with a potential job opportunity. Before you get all crazy, it's really not that major but the job fits me so perfectly that I will surely overreact if I don't get it. Said job will give me more freedom to do what I'm doing now by providing a second income AND it's super relaxed and done right here from home. So I won't have to take any hours away from my....photographs, blogging and drawing. You know, like I have in the last two days while I wait for a response.
So, as much patience I have learned in the last few years of my life, it's not kicking in right now and I really need it to. Every time I start to distract myself with my work here, I think 'Well, maybe I should check my email for the millionth time to see if I got a response in the last second."
I am fully aware of how ridiculous I am being, and yet I can't help myself! I guess no matter how hard you try, there are always going to be parts of yourself that you just can't make go away.
If only I would take a hint from the meerkat.
April 2008 Archives
Just wanted to take a moment to share with everyone that I was featured on Gothamist.com again! It's always a treat to know someone is looking and appreciating what I'm doing. Especially in this time of creative growth for me.
Did I just say creative growth? Creative gross! How smarmy could I get? Did I just get to use the word smarmy? Man! This is a great night!
Oh and incase the shot is no longer on the front page at Gothamist, you can see it here!
You should know, along with not being fair, life is bizarre as well.
First point of business, my water was out when I woke up this morning. Thanks be to brita and it's lovely ability to hold enough water to make my coffee in the a.m., no one lost their lives. Called landlord. Landlord was frazzled but friendly. Water main out. Down the street. Whole block without water. End scene.
Then it came back on and we raced (and by raced I mean I called dibs on the bathroom because I was the first one awake this morning and I'm the girl and all this means "back off punks") to use the, um, potty.
The boy and I decided to head into town for lunch together. On the way in, we heard a little yelling going on in the subway car. This is pretty normal so we completely ignored it...until I looked up and a bunch of people were kind of giggling and looking oddly worried, etc.
Happy Earth Day everyone! Did you do anything special? I did!
Well to be honest, I had every intention of going to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens today regardless of what holiday it was, just happened to be extra special! Tuesdays are free too by the way. (It just took all my power not to type BTW there. This proves to me I have too much chat speak in my life these days).
So anyhow, earth day. What a beautiful day. It was 70 degrees, clear as a bell and breezy. I mean seriously, perfect conditions for wandering around the gardens. And to be honest with you, I am a terrible Brooklynite, this is the first time I have ever been. I have no excuse other than pure laziness but this new project I've been working on (this thing where I'm being all creative and finding my inner self and all that...stuff) has genuinely motivated me and opened up my eyes to all the things I could be missing out on.
You know why I hate sleeping? Of course you don't, you didn't know that. It's because ever since I can remember, I always felt like I was missing out on something. I mean, I don't really HATE sleeping, but when I first lay my head down on the pillow, I think about every single thing I could be doing, should have done that day, need to do tomorrow...anything other than actually falling asleep. For awhile there (the last 5 years or so?) I was just worrying about bills and all that boring adult crap that no one should ever worry about. Now I'm excited again and can't sleep because I can't wait for tomorrow and what I might get myself into...and I smack myself on the forehead for the things i missed out on (Silent Rave? Damn it!)
Right.
Anyhow, I was really proud of myself for getting off my ass, walking out the door and enjoying the gardens for a few hours today. It was a mad house to be perfectly honest, people everywhere. However, this actually really touched me. It's wonderful to see so many people gathering together to do one thing....view nature and all it's beauty. I mean, there's nothing else to do there. How often do you see a bunch of hoodlums hanging out in the Botanical Gardens? It is truly one of the few places to actually get away from the city and all it's muck.
I charged my camera, slipped on my headphones, put on my walkin' shoes and had a wonderful afternoon. If you want to see some of what I saw, check out my flickr page. I posted a few shots today and will put up some more tomorrow.
112 doodles later and still going strong. Well,maybe not strong. But definitely still doodling. I'm pretty shocked I've made it this far actually. They've definitely become a little faster and less defined in the later days but I don't mind. I'm still trying to find my style. This is, to me, a nearly impossible feat. I am one of those people who doesn't use the same hand writing every day. Sure, I have a few that I fall back on more than others but I have days where I say "Hey, maybe today I'll change it up a notch" and next thing I know, I have those obnoxious little circles over my 'i's for a day.
Yeah..not so much. Never been a fan of the circles over the 'i's. But you get my meaning.
Yeah, that's me up there with Chewie. Chewbacca to you! This weekend was the NYC Comic Con, a gigantic convention for....comics. I love this stuff. So many photo ops, so many strange things to see. I even managed to sneak into the main floor itself. I would have happily bought a ticket if weekends weren't my busiest time of the week (damn you theatre!) but I only had about a 2.5 hour time slot where I could walk down and check out the goings on. My friend/coworker came along with me and we pulled the old walk in with a large crowd trick. It was a total blast.
I haven't been around much in the last few days mainly because of a nasty sinus infection I've had. I just can't think straight when I have them and my ear gets all plugged and I just want to bleh. Y'know? Thankfully, it's almost gone now.
Tonight we close the show I'm currently working on which leads me into a nice week off before I start the next one. I can't wait to get some much needed rest and also have plenty of time to sort of set up a schedule for this blogging thing. I hate missing more than a day or two between posts. It really weighs on me.
So, starting tomorrow, I'll get all my drawings scanned, get some more posts up, work on the group and generally just feel better about myself. Word is, it's supposed to rain. This is very good news.
I've been doing a lot of thinking. I haven't come up with many solutions but thinking is a good place to start.
I have this bizarre tendency to come up with ideas that I think are great and really excite me, then for some bizarre reason I put them off until suddenly I realize, I never did what I intended to do. I don't know if I put it off because I'm afraid I won't execute it the way I envision it or if I just put it off because I get so excited that I don't want to be done right away. I know that might not make any sense at all to anyone who is reading this, but somehow it makes a whole lot of sense in my brain.
I'm one of those people that tends to battle off every day stress by having something fun to look forward to. If I start to stress about something I say "But it's okay cause tomorrow you're going to the movies with a friend! Yay! Life is good!" I even did it when I was a kid. If I was having a low moment I would think to myself "Oh wait! So and so's birthday party is tomorrow! Yay! Happy time!".
I have the sneaking suspicion that I do the same thing with little projects and ideas. When I come up with something to draw that excites me, or a photograph to take or a super blog entry, I get excited because I had a stroke of creativity and imagination and I think maybe I don't like to let that feeling go. Is this making more sense now (she asks the non-responsive internets)?
This is an old hurdle that I've finally decided to take notice of and do something about. This makes me excited. I hope I don't put off doing something about it, because in the end, if I don't follow through with my fun ideas, I become stressed. Aaahh, see there? Full circle. Yeeeah.
Wait, what was I excited about?
I've been meaning to feature members of the Arts & Dafts group here on the blog for quite some time. Instead of dwelling on my slackin' off, I'll just get right to it!
That hilarious guest towel up there was created by MlleHyena of Recycled By Hyena. She has this fantastic abiltiy to take every day items and make it into something you really want to have around. Never before have I wanted my own apron until I saw one of hers. I personally am a big fan of old favorites (aprons, towels, etc) with a modern and/or silly twist.
She also creates some absolutely stunning and wonderfully original recycled clothing. This gal isn't your average t-shirt reconstructing recycle artist. Her creations are colorful, creative, totally wearable and without a doubt, one of a kind. I just hope to get a few extra bucks around sometime so that I can own one of her items myself!
You can see her blog here and don't forget to head to her main website, Recycled By Hyena! Now get to shoppin'!
The arts & dafts group is filling up slowly but surely with some truly amazing artists. MlleHyena was one of the first and she never disappoints!
I'm feeling good. Really. I feel great. Oh man, I hope I didn't just jinx myself.
I have learned SO much in the last few months that I can hardly take it all in. First of all, the internets are even more amazing than I once thought. I've always been a little weird about meeting people online. Not love matches mind you, I've had that area covered for 6.5 years now. I'm just talking about plain old meeting people. By nature I don't trust people very easily so when it comes to the web, I just assume everyone is donning a fake persona and I'm not really talking to who I think I'm talking to. However, in the last 2 months on flickr, I've met some truly amazing people. I mean, straight up inspiring and all that.
This is one of the few drawings I decided to keep up on my stream. Normally I reset the date on all of my doodles on flickr so they end up at the back of the stream. Only because I use it more as a place to show off my photographs and not my drawings. However, this one I am genuinely proud of and even more so now after the wonderful response it received.
Not only have people enjoyed viewing it, which is a true honor, but I've even had a request to use it as a tattoo which completely floors me. Never have I been asked such a thing and I would probably cry a little if they actually decided to use it. Cause you know, I can be emotional sometimes. But for the love of everything holy, don't go telling people that. I have a reputation to uphold here.
Anyhow, it's working title is Airheads (compliments of the mom unit). This drawing has taught me to relax a lot. I stare at it and see flaws, mistakes, things I could change. Others look at it and like it, think it's clean and don't point out it's ookies. This has really confirmed my belief in art being all in the eye of the beholder and also taught me to take a step back and just enjoy it for what it is. After all, when I look at other people's stuff, I never say "Hey, that eye is a little off isn't it". No, I view it for the whole. It's hard to understand that other's probably do that too.
It's true, I am my toughest critic.
Although I don't have a whole lot to say, I do seem to be drawing again. I love the progress I'm making with my doodles again. But I seem to be losing inspiration on the photography end. Not for lack of wanting to take photos. No no, just can't seem to take just the right shot in the last few days. But that's okay, it'll come back. I think I just need to go somewhere other than my neighborhood and my work's neighborhood.
Here's to finding motivation in everything I do, all at once and being totally overwhelmed by it. Sounds like fun to me!
Okay, first of all, I finally got around to scanning the last few doodles. It feels fantastic to be all caught up! I really..REALLY need to get off my lazy ass and do that every single day. This catching up stuff is no fun. You'd think I would have learned this lesson in grade school. Clearly this is not the case. And I'm pretty certain I still haven't learned.
If you're interested, you can view the last few doodles in the doodle a day for a year flickr set.
Now back to learning something...
This video tickles my funny bone like no other. Definitely reminiscent of Tenacious D...but in a world all it's own. I can see it now, a world filled with guitars....filled with milk.
So my head feels a little like this photo these days. In a rush to get somewhere but so many things are keeping me from getting there on time. But you know what? It's okay.
I'm insanely behind on my doodles a day for a year. I have become okay with this because my intention is good. I'm still taking photographs every day (which is quickly becoming my true love) and I am still doodling every day, I just haven't come around to sharing it.
Where is my time going? Well I'm really concentrated on this community we're trying to build. When I'm not taking photographs or doodling or watching the hour of tv that I seem to have got myself down to these days, I am inviting people to join our group.
So far we're up to 34 people and the amount of visits at www.coffeerooms.com is definitely picking up. These are all very good things! The hard part is getting people to talk. I haven't figured out this art yet. I know that even though it's the internets and we can "hide" ourselves, people are still a little shy. So what's the secret? Persistence? Do I keep writing in discussions and this blog even though no one is responding out loud? Will they one day? Or am I doomed to talk to myself...like I do when I'm doing the dishes?
I guess only time will tell!
Now that I wrote this blog entry, I can take one of those cars out of the traffic jam. Well, maybe half a car.
