Daily Doodle
Stop Thinking, Start Doing
June 27, 2008 comments
All week I've been angry with myself for not posting and all week I've been trying to figure out why. I worry about crossing too many boundaries and becoming confusing to the "reader". That's you by the way. Then I remember that's kinda the whole point of this space. I AM confusing. I've never been easy to figure out, especially to myself. One week my obsession is with photography, the next it's with drawing and then the next it's with just watching t.v. That's how I roll and that's why it's called Arts and Dafts.
The funniest part about it? One of my biggest pet peeves on earth is when I'm working and the objective is clear but somebody (usually a hard headed man, sorry fellas) has to "talk it out." Often I find myself wasting time, standing around and listening to someone go on and on and on about which rope we should use and how to tie the knot, etc when really, you just gotta get up there and do it.
Now I need to apply the rule to myself. Just sit down and do it. I'm afraid my addiction to twitter has kept me from posting some stuff that could be posted so I'm going to fix that too. If I can twit it, I can blog it. Right?
Where I Am, Creatively Speaking
June 16, 2008 comments
So it's no mystery, I have been in a sort of lull lately. It's not one of those lulls where I drop everything and say screw it, no no. It's more one of those "what is the next effing step?!!?" lulls.
Okay, "lull" just lost it's meaning.
I've reached a sort of cross roads. I need to dive head first into my writing, drawing, photography, etc and really commit to this whole project or consider my options with a full time job...or just keep doing what I'm doing.
What's my goal? To be creative full time. This is for sure. What's holding me back? The non-creative side of my brain. The side that says "Yes, but how will you pay the bills sweetie?". I hate that side. I have been slowly poisoning it with positive thoughts and pencil drawings, but the process is slow and excruciating. Also, I'm pretty sure anyone with a strong creative side knows that pushing positive thoughts on yourself is like trying to convince a parent that heroin is good for their baby.
I think that bizarre comparison just came from my "creative" side.
I am particularly lucky. After next week I will have almost 2 entire months to throw myself into my craft, whatever that is, full time. I have saved enough for the rent, now I just hope I saved just enough sanity (or is it insanity?) to actually create and come up with some good ideas.
Here's hoping!
5 Things Boys Should Know
June 7, 2008 comments
Some tips for boys...specifically boys who have been in a relationship for quite sometime.
1. Get excited for crying out loud! If we tell you something we are clearly excited about, please know that "Oh, cool." simply does not cut it. Period.
2. Just because I don't particularly enjoy chatting on the phone is by no means an excuse for you not to call and say goodnight. Expect to be on the crappy end of the silent treatment for awhile. P.S. texts stating that you are going to bed soon do not count.
3. If we're feeling down, there is really only one appropriate response. "Oh darling, I'm so sorry. That truly sucks and you are so right." Do not stray from this response and by no means try to "fix" the situation. You will only make it worse. I promise. It's for your own good.
4. No, I do not want you to bring home that stray dog. And please, stop asking and pretending you're joking. I know you want to bring it home and my answer still hasn't changed.
5. No, you are not stealthy, you are a guy. I'm sorry but it's not in your genes. Yes, we can tell when you've been drinking a little too much, even over the phone.
With all that said, we love you (God knows why) and we just don't want to see you get hurt. That's why we tell you these things in advance. It's up to you now.
Shaping up!
June 1, 2008 comments
Alright, no more excuses! I finally have my life back, rehearsals are over and my schedule is completely back to normal. So what's with my lack of motivation? Why can I still not seem to pull my head outta my butt and get to typin'?
I guess I'm still just settling in. I don't ever want to be away from my blog, photos and drawings for this long again. I feel like I made a lot of progress and then just threw it all out the window in a month. I'm not ready for ANOTHER clean slate, I was just starting to draw on my new one.
Anyhow, hopefully this will mark the last of my so-busy-with-work excuse posts. Time to kick it back into high gear!
Hope and the Ultimate Compliment
May 19, 2008 comments
When I started this creative journey of mine, I have to tell you, I honestly had no idea how much joy, happiness and fulfillment it would bring me. I mean, I always knew it would be a positive adventure, but nothing as amazing as it's been in such a short time.
First, as I've mentioned briefly before, I have met some absolutely amazing, creative and wonderful people. This is bigger for me than it sounds. I tend to be only surrounded by the people I work with because of the hours we spend together, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but a girl's gotta expand her horizons sometime. For some reason, until now, I've always been somewhat shy online, which is really odd, especially considering I was online long before most people even knew it existed. I just can't bring myself to put on a mask when I'm logged on. I'm always me, that's just how it is. But in the last few months I've opened up more and it's really paid off. The people I have "met" have been inspirational, funny, comforting and kind. Since I've been somewhat away the last few weeks, I have missed them dearly.
Second, I have truly seen myself grow as an artist. And I'm not just talking about skill here, I'm talking about my imagination expanding and appreciating new things. I see things a little more clearly and my thoughts tend to be a tad less scattered. I've actually stopped worrying so much which, you gotta believe me, is a HUGE feat.
And now, the biggest compliment and accomplishment I've ever had, the picture in this post. You may remember this drawing from my doodle a day for a year project. A bunch of the ladies I "hang" with online really loved it which was enough to make me happy, but then one of the gals (zoogal to be specific) actually had it tattooed on her back (as you can see). This is gigantic for me. More than even she may realize. I've had a lot of friends in the tattoo industry and have always admired and envied the ability to give someone a piece of art forever and ever.
Honestly, it touches me so much I could cry a little. But I'm not going to because my head is so stuffed, I'll regret it later. Oh, btw, that's why I've been so quiet lately....warding off a terrible head cold as well as battling the ridiculous work hours.
Anyhow, to Zoogal and all of my friends online, you mean more to me than you know and I am grateful to have met you and look forward to sharing many more days with you! Cheers!
All Caught Up
May 4, 2008 comments
FINALLY! I have caught myself up on all my doodle scans. This relieves me more than you know. It proves to me that after the last weeks insanity, I am finally getting my brain back. I absolutely hate leaving days between blogs and being behind on my doodle scanning and for the love of everything....not posting any photographs! It's time to get my poo together, if ya read me.
I lucked out with a morning off from tech today so it allowed me to get all this stuff in order. I am forever grateful for these few hours off. However, when I think about how far along with tech we are, I'm thinking we could have probably used these few hours.
The show is looking absolutely amazing so far, but it's a slow process getting there. Every tech is slow but this one feels particularly sluggish. The automation (that's what I do) was being extremely finicky the first day so I fell behind in that area for a day or two, however, it's up and running now so no worries. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Okay, time to get my act in gear for whatever else the day has in store for me.
Oh, and that's my coworker over there. He's a doodler too and sometimes we have doodle offs. How ridiculous can we make each other look. However, mine is not too far off from the truth.
Definitely Doodling
April 21, 2008 comments
112 doodles later and still going strong. Well,maybe not strong. But definitely still doodling. I'm pretty shocked I've made it this far actually. They've definitely become a little faster and less defined in the later days but I don't mind. I'm still trying to find my style. This is, to me, a nearly impossible feat. I am one of those people who doesn't use the same hand writing every day. Sure, I have a few that I fall back on more than others but I have days where I say "Hey, maybe today I'll change it up a notch" and next thing I know, I have those obnoxious little circles over my 'i's for a day.
Yeah..not so much. Never been a fan of the circles over the 'i's. But you get my meaning.
Jumping Another Hurdle
April 15, 2008 comments
I've been doing a lot of thinking. I haven't come up with many solutions but thinking is a good place to start.
I have this bizarre tendency to come up with ideas that I think are great and really excite me, then for some bizarre reason I put them off until suddenly I realize, I never did what I intended to do. I don't know if I put it off because I'm afraid I won't execute it the way I envision it or if I just put it off because I get so excited that I don't want to be done right away. I know that might not make any sense at all to anyone who is reading this, but somehow it makes a whole lot of sense in my brain.
I'm one of those people that tends to battle off every day stress by having something fun to look forward to. If I start to stress about something I say "But it's okay cause tomorrow you're going to the movies with a friend! Yay! Life is good!" I even did it when I was a kid. If I was having a low moment I would think to myself "Oh wait! So and so's birthday party is tomorrow! Yay! Happy time!".
I have the sneaking suspicion that I do the same thing with little projects and ideas. When I come up with something to draw that excites me, or a photograph to take or a super blog entry, I get excited because I had a stroke of creativity and imagination and I think maybe I don't like to let that feeling go. Is this making more sense now (she asks the non-responsive internets)?
This is an old hurdle that I've finally decided to take notice of and do something about. This makes me excited. I hope I don't put off doing something about it, because in the end, if I don't follow through with my fun ideas, I become stressed. Aaahh, see there? Full circle. Yeeeah.
Wait, what was I excited about?
Good Times (98&99/365)
April 9, 2008 comments
I'm feeling good. Really. I feel great. Oh man, I hope I didn't just jinx myself.
I have learned SO much in the last few months that I can hardly take it all in. First of all, the internets are even more amazing than I once thought. I've always been a little weird about meeting people online. Not love matches mind you, I've had that area covered for 6.5 years now. I'm just talking about plain old meeting people. By nature I don't trust people very easily so when it comes to the web, I just assume everyone is donning a fake persona and I'm not really talking to who I think I'm talking to. However, in the last 2 months on flickr, I've met some truly amazing people. I mean, straight up inspiring and all that.
Continue reading "Good Times (98&99/365)"
My Favorite So Far (97/365)
April 7, 2008 comments
This is one of the few drawings I decided to keep up on my stream. Normally I reset the date on all of my doodles on flickr so they end up at the back of the stream. Only because I use it more as a place to show off my photographs and not my drawings. However, this one I am genuinely proud of and even more so now after the wonderful response it received.
Not only have people enjoyed viewing it, which is a true honor, but I've even had a request to use it as a tattoo which completely floors me. Never have I been asked such a thing and I would probably cry a little if they actually decided to use it. Cause you know, I can be emotional sometimes. But for the love of everything holy, don't go telling people that. I have a reputation to uphold here.
Anyhow, it's working title is Airheads (compliments of the mom unit). This drawing has taught me to relax a lot. I stare at it and see flaws, mistakes, things I could change. Others look at it and like it, think it's clean and don't point out it's ookies. This has really confirmed my belief in art being all in the eye of the beholder and also taught me to take a step back and just enjoy it for what it is. After all, when I look at other people's stuff, I never say "Hey, that eye is a little off isn't it". No, I view it for the whole. It's hard to understand that other's probably do that too.
It's true, I am my toughest critic.
It's Back (95&96/365)
April 6, 2008 comments
Although I don't have a whole lot to say, I do seem to be drawing again. I love the progress I'm making with my doodles again. But I seem to be losing inspiration on the photography end. Not for lack of wanting to take photos. No no, just can't seem to take just the right shot in the last few days. But that's okay, it'll come back. I think I just need to go somewhere other than my neighborhood and my work's neighborhood.
Here's to finding motivation in everything I do, all at once and being totally overwhelmed by it. Sounds like fun to me!
Ah Ha!
April 4, 2008 comments
Okay, first of all, I finally got around to scanning the last few doodles. It feels fantastic to be all caught up! I really..REALLY need to get off my lazy ass and do that every single day. This catching up stuff is no fun. You'd think I would have learned this lesson in grade school. Clearly this is not the case. And I'm pretty certain I still haven't learned.
If you're interested, you can view the last few doodles in the doodle a day for a year flickr set.
Now back to learning something...
Changing My Space (86&87/365)
March 28, 2008 comments
Yesterday a ton of motivation finally slapped me in the face and I finally took over the empty room next to our bedroom and created my own "studio". I prefer studio over office so neener. It's my own space to draw in, work on my photos, decorate and just sit around in. An added bonus, our bedroom has gone from small, stuff and cluttered to wide open. I call it the ballroom now cause the floor is open enough for dancing around on.
Of course, I am the only one likely to break out into dance around here. Yes, even when I'm alone. No, sometimes it is not concious...I just start dancing. Then halfway through I'm all "How long have I been dancing around?" That's when I start to imagine Dooce dropping by with a slab of bacon. Then we'll have a bacon dance off. Whoever wins, gets to eat the freakin' bacon of course.
Yeah, I love my new space. My imagination is already on overdrive.
Pictures and more to come.
Catching up! (84&85/365)
March 26, 2008 comments
I can feel the lack of motivation lifting like a huge weight off my back. Now the only problem is defeating that old "not enough time in a day" thing. I mean honestly, Do I really need to sleep? I mean really really?
I'm a Stagehand and I'm Okay (82-83/365)
March 24, 2008 comments
Work has got me crazy! We just got through our first normal weekend with the play. 5 show weekends are a total pain in the ass in our world. In case you didn't know, all the shows here (off and on Broadway) do 8 show weeks and there's usually two options: a matinée on Wednesday leaving only one performance on Sunday OR a 5 show weekend, which is what we do where I currently work.
We have a show on Friday night. This is show 1 of the so called 5 show weekend. By this time we've been in every day since Tuesday. (Monday being our only day off a week.). On Saturday we come in an hour before "half hour", and by we I mean the technicians. Actors come in at half hour. ("Half hour" is the 30 minutes before the curtain goes up...and that's just a term for when the show starts, there's not always a curtain.). So this means we come in at 12:30 for this show. We run the first show and then have a big break between the matinée and evening performance. For most of us this means grabbing dinner and coming back for a nap because we don't live close enough to go home and relax. With this particular show we have enough time on Saturdays to go see a movie if we wanted because it only runs for an hour and a half.
Continue reading "I'm a Stagehand and I'm Okay (82-83/365)"
Another Dream of Mine (81/365)
March 22, 2008 comments
It's been a quiet but long lived dream of mine to write and illustrate a children's book. This is an old idea I had that I finally got down on paper. It's a start but I'm not sure I have the faith in myself to actually follow through on such a project. Maybe one day!
It reads:
" Follow me to the broken woods,
where things aren't what they seem,
the trees hold woulds and coulds and shoulds,
they sometimes call them dreams."
"The spindely [sp] spider left the perch..."
Maybe some day I can actually finish this thought process.
In a Funk (80/365)
March 21, 2008 comments
I really can't seem to knock this funk. I mean, I know it'll pass eventually but it's really got a hold on me. I have to blame it on my weird work schedule. Sometimes I'm in all day, other times I'm not in until 6. We're also going through a 10 show week (as opposed to an 8 show week). We open next wednesday so instead of taking Monday off like usual, we're waiting until Thursday.
I need to get out and take a walk. I haven't been able to do that in about a week and a half now. Maybe I can do that today before I head in.
Sincerely,
Desperately Seeking Inspiration
Woops! (78&79/365)
March 20, 2008 comments
Because I posted two doodles for one day, I messed up my count. I knew I should have just put them in one picture.
I'm really in a funk these days, creatively speaking. I can't put my finger on it but I'm lacking in motivation. It's probably because my schedule is all over the place AND we have house guests for a week. It's all thrown me off balance.
Slap a Doodle (76-78/365)
March 18, 2008 comments
I really....REALLY want to get a little faster at posting these doodles. I keep telling myself it's okay because I'm at work ALL day, but really when I'm home, I do have plenty of time to slap my doodles in the scanner. I'm not even making any excuses. I just don't do it. Slacker = Me.
Okay, now you're probably all "Teddy bears? Really?" Yeah, I know. I honestly have no idea. Truly, I can't explain what inspired me to draw them. It's one of those "I just did" things. There is something moving about a sad teddy bear though, wouldn't you say? Except for the large bear, these are all true doodles. Mindless, subconcious, tv was on doodles. This is the extent of my wisdom today.
Reminder (74-75/365)
March 15, 2008 comments
Yes, there are three doodles up there for 2 days, but the two portraits go together. both drawn yesterday when I was teasing the boy. He said something and I said "Oh yeah! Well I'm gonna draw your face!" Oooo, burn. It was really funny if you were there...and one of us.
So then I drew myself. Yep, that's me. A perfect likeness. No, not the one with the facial hair, the one with the lighbulb head! It's my latest nickname for myself. It's not a bad thing. Really. It's just, I really do have a long and sometimes lighbulb like head. The boy laughed out loud when he saw it (which is extremely rare) so that lead to me believing it was actually a pretty decent self portrait.
Oh, and the one on top is an actual, bonafide doodle done on a napkin. I scanned it in grey scale but if you look close enough, you can kinda make out the coffee ring at the top. In real life, it is indeed the color of coffee.
So, I feel like I should remind you what I'm doing here, 75 "doodles" in:
Continue reading "Reminder (74-75/365)"
Delish (72/365)
March 13, 2008 comments
Wow, 72 drawings so far, and not a day missed. Suddenly 365 doesn't seem so hard! (she says not even halfway through).
Seriously though, i am so proud. I can't think of anything I have stuck with for 72 days straight without getting bored. Sure, I've had many days where I felt completely unmotivated, but that's easy. I can get past those as long as I remind myself that those days always pass. That's probably been one of the strongest lessons I've learned so far with this project AND can apply it to every day...crap.
Not that I've turned over this annoying optimistic leaf or anything. Noooo. I still have plenty to bitch about just like everyone else, I'm just finding it a lot easier to deal with the every day kinks. I've learned to do that thing where you smile instead even when you don't want to. Ugh, it's soooo hard, it really is, but I have to remember that it's annoying to be around someone that's grumpy all the time.
However, it's equally annoying to be around someone who's peppy all the time too. After all, life isn't fair.
Working and Playing as Hard as I Can (69-71/365)
March 12, 2008 comments
We all know it pays to work hard. It's taught to us early on and throughout the rest of our life. If we're lucky, we get to choose what we work hard at. However, there's another side I've been trying to learn how to balance lately...the play side.
Continue reading "Working and Playing as Hard as I Can (69-71/365)"
The Internets are Lonely on Sundays (66-68/365)
March 9, 2008 comments
Up there are my doodles for March 6th -8th (in order from top to bottom). Yes, I finally scanned them. Sheesh! Gimme a break! The third one was a subway doodle. One purely from imagination and the other of a view I had of someone sitting in front of me reading. The top two is just a new look I'm trying out for faces. I like it so I think I'll expand on that idea.
Continue reading "The Internets are Lonely on Sundays (66-68/365)"
The Little People (65/365)
March 5, 2008 comments
I drew this on the subway. I am actually shocked that it is easier to draw on a moving, bumpy NYC train than it is to write. Whenever I write on the train, i get cramps in my hand from trying to keep the damn pen steady. This was much easier and soothing.
I have a confession to make. I usually play a video game when I'm on the subway these days. I don't play any outside of the subway so it's my little guilty pleasure. However, this time I had the desire to draw something, and so I did. That has definitely been something interesting about this process. Responding to my random desires. A lot of the time I might start to think "Hmm, I'd love to write right now" but for some reason I end up ignoring the impulse and continue doing whatever if it that I'm doing. I'm proud to say I am starting to act on my instincts. A long hard road that's getting a little, tiny bit shorter.
Wow! I might actually be learning something from this!
Uninspired (64/365)
March 4, 2008 comments
I'm going through a lack of inspiration with my doodles lately. I don't see this as a problem, just a gearing up towards something amazing. I wouldn't be normal if I felt like I was producing above par work every day. In fact, it makes me feel very human to feel bleh about drawing. The success here is doing it even if I don't really want to. This, for me, is usually when I give up entirely on a idea.
Since the goal here is to grow, giving up is so not an option. I refuse!
Zen Meets Zen (63/365)
March 3, 2008 comments
So now I've taken it to a Whole NEW Level! What's that? SwirlyDoodles AND a tree, or plant or shrubbery of some sort? Madness! Sheer madness! It's amazing I ever awoke from this haze!
/end drama
SwirlyDoodle
March 2, 2008 comments
I've been back to playing with my pens lately. Those first couple of trees I worked on last week brought back an addiction. But I can't stop myself from doing a little subconscious doodling. Hence, the SwirlyDoodle.
I've never been any good at meditating. My mind moves way too fast and no matter what I do to try and slow it down, that's just not how it works for me. However, now I am finding it much easier to just space out and let go, so long as I have a pencil, pen or other implement of destruction in my hand.
Addicted to Trees
March 1, 2008 comments
Honestly, playing with the lines, shapes and shading of a tree is so relaxing and so zen that I just can't stop myself. It's so entirely different from paying attention to the detail in someone's face for example. With these tree drawings I've been up to lately, I can just go. Even the act of erasing some of the lines feels like it's part of the sketch.
I guess you could say I'm a bit of a tree hugger these days. But I've never really noticed until now, after taking zillions of photographs in Prospect Park and after doodling them so much lately, that trees are just as diverse and beautiful as snowflakes.
/end cheese.
Another Month Under My Belt
February 29, 2008 comments
So I've done it. Successfully drawn something every day for two months. This doodle here is number 60! Yeah, I wish it was a little more than a doodle/practice page too but it's what I was feeling. The boy and I were watching Bill Maher and I was just spaced out listening to him most of the time.
However, every time I tried to concentrate on what I was drawing, there's an eyeball. So I learned something about myself here on the final day of February; whenever I snap into consciousness while doodling, I draw a freakin eyeball. So weird. And even weirder is that I know that I'm not alone. A friend of mine does the same exact thing. We discovered this recently when she noticed one of my doodle pages.
So, surely I've learned something else in the last two months. I mean, that is the whole point of this "exercise" isn't it? Well I have, the trick is putting it all into words.
Continue reading "Another Month Under My Belt"
Zen at Work
February 28, 2008 comments
No words can describe just how relaxing it is to doodle at work. Of course, I have people looking over my shoulder every now and then which is kind of annoying...I'm secretive like that. I have no problem showing people what I've done once I've done it, but the process is very private to me. Well, I guess it's not really all that private since I do in fact do it at work, and on the subway, etc. You get my drift though.
I'm really enjoying creating outside of the home. I'm finding a new perspective. However, I do have the next 4 days off and I am thrilled. My poor internal sleep clock has been tortured for the last few days. Phew! I can stay up until 3am again, guilt free.
