Growing Up

Well, first of all, growing up means not freaking the heck out when you write an entry, your computer crashes and you lose said entry.  That is what I am doing now, not freaking out.  Or at least that's what I'm telling you because another part of growing up is learning to pretend you're ok, when you're not.

So, my 30th birthday, it's only days away now. The day that spawned this whole project of getting to know myself better and letting myself do all those things I really want to do with my life. Growing up is just plain weird. In fact, I don't get why most people don't recognize this fact.

Think back to when you were a kid or a teenager and the view you had of adults. Now, think of yourself as... an adult. Weird right? Not so different after all.  My idea of being an adult has completely changed because when it comes down to the basic roots of me, I am no different than I was 10 years ago.   

What has changed, though? People you used to know are getting married, having children or have already done so years ago and now they're getting divorces, etc.  Just take a moment and think of the people you once knew.  I know! Bizarre!

My job, being an on again/off again affair, is one that has allowed me to meet  literally hundreds and hundreds of people and then whammo, they are out of my life just as fast as they came in.  This isn't something I cry over, it's simply part of my life and how my job works. But every now and then, someone from my past finds me on Facebook or something like that and I realize what a pivotal role said person has actually played in my life.  How odd it is that these important moments just disappear into the back of our minds.

And what about all those times you said "Man, I will never forget this moment for as long as I live!"?  You totally forgot, didn't you?

Another thing about my job that I have just recently realized.  I'm not 'the kid' anymore.  I'm not the one everyone looks at and thinks "We're going to have to teach her everything." Nope, now I have evolved into the teacher.  I am what some may even consider a....professional.  This didn't occur to me until recently while dealing with a particularly difficult 18 year old on the job.  I am so glad I learned early not to act like I know everything (even though I totally do, I know everything, so neener.)

One last thing, looking back and wondering, am I where I thought I would be in 10 years?  Remember when they made you write up 5 or 10 year plans back in school?  I never had a clue what to write.  I do remember I hoped to have graduated college (which I did) and there was something about traveling the U.S. in a van (which I did not) but other than that, I had nothing.  I think if I went back and told former me where I was going to end up now, I'd be pretty proud, and that is definitely something to smile about.  Now if only I didn't have to go to work today.

So here I am, 15 days from 30.  I better get the last hurrahs of my 20s out now while I can, I have a lot to look forward to and I have a feeling I'm going to be pretty busy.