Writing
Longest Week Ever
May 2, 2008 comments
I know I haven't been very active lately but it's been a very long week. Seriously, one of the longest weeks ever.
First of all, that job I was worrying about? I got it! So for once I can rest a little easier when it comes to my income for the summer. The pay isn't amazing but it's more about the freedom of the job. I can basically do it while I blog, draw, flickr...whatever! I'll tell you more about that some other time.
Other big news this week, my fella (seen above) left for 4 months today. Loooong time. It sucks but at the same time, it's really just part of our lives. We both work in theater and know that sometimes that means we have to go wherever the job takes us. In this case, it's down south to the Lost Colony where he's worked 22 seasons. He grew up down there so he's been in the show off and on since he was 11 years old.
Good news is, he finally got a cell phone. In past years where he's gone down there, I had to wait for him to call me from his office, which meant scheduled phone calls basically. I hate the phone and the only thing I hate more than the phone is scheduling a conversation on one. Just ew.
AND in other news, the tech rehearsal portion of my next show has begun. I am currently working on Saved the Musical. It's based off the film Saved and so far, from what I've seen of it, it's going to be a blast. I think it's a definite hit!
Back to work! More later when my brain has rolled back into normal land.
Meerkat Says Relax
April 28, 2008 comments
I'm going though one of those obsessed phases I seem to go through every few weeks or so and man it's driving me nuts. Never have I been more aware of myself.
Here I am, trying to take photographs, blog and get drawings done, but instead my brain is completely preoccupied with a potential job opportunity. Before you get all crazy, it's really not that major but the job fits me so perfectly that I will surely overreact if I don't get it. Said job will give me more freedom to do what I'm doing now by providing a second income AND it's super relaxed and done right here from home. So I won't have to take any hours away from my....photographs, blogging and drawing. You know, like I have in the last two days while I wait for a response.
So, as much patience I have learned in the last few years of my life, it's not kicking in right now and I really need it to. Every time I start to distract myself with my work here, I think 'Well, maybe I should check my email for the millionth time to see if I got a response in the last second."
I am fully aware of how ridiculous I am being, and yet I can't help myself! I guess no matter how hard you try, there are always going to be parts of yourself that you just can't make go away.
If only I would take a hint from the meerkat.
What a World
April 24, 2008 comments
You should know, along with not being fair, life is bizarre as well.
First point of business, my water was out when I woke up this morning. Thanks be to brita and it's lovely ability to hold enough water to make my coffee in the a.m., no one lost their lives. Called landlord. Landlord was frazzled but friendly. Water main out. Down the street. Whole block without water. End scene.
Then it came back on and we raced (and by raced I mean I called dibs on the bathroom because I was the first one awake this morning and I'm the girl and all this means "back off punks") to use the, um, potty.
The boy and I decided to head into town for lunch together. On the way in, we heard a little yelling going on in the subway car. This is pretty normal so we completely ignored it...until I looked up and a bunch of people were kind of giggling and looking oddly worried, etc.
Continue reading "What a World"
Earth Day!
April 22, 2008 comments
Happy Earth Day everyone! Did you do anything special? I did!
Well to be honest, I had every intention of going to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens today regardless of what holiday it was, just happened to be extra special! Tuesdays are free too by the way. (It just took all my power not to type BTW there. This proves to me I have too much chat speak in my life these days).
So anyhow, earth day. What a beautiful day. It was 70 degrees, clear as a bell and breezy. I mean seriously, perfect conditions for wandering around the gardens. And to be honest with you, I am a terrible Brooklynite, this is the first time I have ever been. I have no excuse other than pure laziness but this new project I've been working on (this thing where I'm being all creative and finding my inner self and all that...stuff) has genuinely motivated me and opened up my eyes to all the things I could be missing out on.
You know why I hate sleeping? Of course you don't, you didn't know that. It's because ever since I can remember, I always felt like I was missing out on something. I mean, I don't really HATE sleeping, but when I first lay my head down on the pillow, I think about every single thing I could be doing, should have done that day, need to do tomorrow...anything other than actually falling asleep. For awhile there (the last 5 years or so?) I was just worrying about bills and all that boring adult crap that no one should ever worry about. Now I'm excited again and can't sleep because I can't wait for tomorrow and what I might get myself into...and I smack myself on the forehead for the things i missed out on (Silent Rave? Damn it!)
Right.
Anyhow, I was really proud of myself for getting off my ass, walking out the door and enjoying the gardens for a few hours today. It was a mad house to be perfectly honest, people everywhere. However, this actually really touched me. It's wonderful to see so many people gathering together to do one thing....view nature and all it's beauty. I mean, there's nothing else to do there. How often do you see a bunch of hoodlums hanging out in the Botanical Gardens? It is truly one of the few places to actually get away from the city and all it's muck.
I charged my camera, slipped on my headphones, put on my walkin' shoes and had a wonderful afternoon. If you want to see some of what I saw, check out my flickr page. I posted a few shots today and will put up some more tomorrow.
Sinuses, Comics and Show Closings...Oh My!
April 20, 2008 comments
Yeah, that's me up there with Chewie. Chewbacca to you! This weekend was the NYC Comic Con, a gigantic convention for....comics. I love this stuff. So many photo ops, so many strange things to see. I even managed to sneak into the main floor itself. I would have happily bought a ticket if weekends weren't my busiest time of the week (damn you theatre!) but I only had about a 2.5 hour time slot where I could walk down and check out the goings on. My friend/coworker came along with me and we pulled the old walk in with a large crowd trick. It was a total blast.
I haven't been around much in the last few days mainly because of a nasty sinus infection I've had. I just can't think straight when I have them and my ear gets all plugged and I just want to bleh. Y'know? Thankfully, it's almost gone now.
Tonight we close the show I'm currently working on which leads me into a nice week off before I start the next one. I can't wait to get some much needed rest and also have plenty of time to sort of set up a schedule for this blogging thing. I hate missing more than a day or two between posts. It really weighs on me.
So, starting tomorrow, I'll get all my drawings scanned, get some more posts up, work on the group and generally just feel better about myself. Word is, it's supposed to rain. This is very good news.
Jumping Another Hurdle
April 15, 2008 comments
I've been doing a lot of thinking. I haven't come up with many solutions but thinking is a good place to start.
I have this bizarre tendency to come up with ideas that I think are great and really excite me, then for some bizarre reason I put them off until suddenly I realize, I never did what I intended to do. I don't know if I put it off because I'm afraid I won't execute it the way I envision it or if I just put it off because I get so excited that I don't want to be done right away. I know that might not make any sense at all to anyone who is reading this, but somehow it makes a whole lot of sense in my brain.
I'm one of those people that tends to battle off every day stress by having something fun to look forward to. If I start to stress about something I say "But it's okay cause tomorrow you're going to the movies with a friend! Yay! Life is good!" I even did it when I was a kid. If I was having a low moment I would think to myself "Oh wait! So and so's birthday party is tomorrow! Yay! Happy time!".
I have the sneaking suspicion that I do the same thing with little projects and ideas. When I come up with something to draw that excites me, or a photograph to take or a super blog entry, I get excited because I had a stroke of creativity and imagination and I think maybe I don't like to let that feeling go. Is this making more sense now (she asks the non-responsive internets)?
This is an old hurdle that I've finally decided to take notice of and do something about. This makes me excited. I hope I don't put off doing something about it, because in the end, if I don't follow through with my fun ideas, I become stressed. Aaahh, see there? Full circle. Yeeeah.
Wait, what was I excited about?
Good Times (98&99/365)
April 9, 2008 comments
I'm feeling good. Really. I feel great. Oh man, I hope I didn't just jinx myself.
I have learned SO much in the last few months that I can hardly take it all in. First of all, the internets are even more amazing than I once thought. I've always been a little weird about meeting people online. Not love matches mind you, I've had that area covered for 6.5 years now. I'm just talking about plain old meeting people. By nature I don't trust people very easily so when it comes to the web, I just assume everyone is donning a fake persona and I'm not really talking to who I think I'm talking to. However, in the last 2 months on flickr, I've met some truly amazing people. I mean, straight up inspiring and all that.
Continue reading "Good Times (98&99/365)"
My Favorite So Far (97/365)
April 7, 2008 comments
This is one of the few drawings I decided to keep up on my stream. Normally I reset the date on all of my doodles on flickr so they end up at the back of the stream. Only because I use it more as a place to show off my photographs and not my drawings. However, this one I am genuinely proud of and even more so now after the wonderful response it received.
Not only have people enjoyed viewing it, which is a true honor, but I've even had a request to use it as a tattoo which completely floors me. Never have I been asked such a thing and I would probably cry a little if they actually decided to use it. Cause you know, I can be emotional sometimes. But for the love of everything holy, don't go telling people that. I have a reputation to uphold here.
Anyhow, it's working title is Airheads (compliments of the mom unit). This drawing has taught me to relax a lot. I stare at it and see flaws, mistakes, things I could change. Others look at it and like it, think it's clean and don't point out it's ookies. This has really confirmed my belief in art being all in the eye of the beholder and also taught me to take a step back and just enjoy it for what it is. After all, when I look at other people's stuff, I never say "Hey, that eye is a little off isn't it". No, I view it for the whole. It's hard to understand that other's probably do that too.
It's true, I am my toughest critic.
Ah Ha!
April 4, 2008 comments
Okay, first of all, I finally got around to scanning the last few doodles. It feels fantastic to be all caught up! I really..REALLY need to get off my lazy ass and do that every single day. This catching up stuff is no fun. You'd think I would have learned this lesson in grade school. Clearly this is not the case. And I'm pretty certain I still haven't learned.
If you're interested, you can view the last few doodles in the doodle a day for a year flickr set.
Now back to learning something...
My Brain is a Traffic Jam
April 2, 2008 comments
So my head feels a little like this photo these days. In a rush to get somewhere but so many things are keeping me from getting there on time. But you know what? It's okay.
I'm insanely behind on my doodles a day for a year. I have become okay with this because my intention is good. I'm still taking photographs every day (which is quickly becoming my true love) and I am still doodling every day, I just haven't come around to sharing it.
Where is my time going? Well I'm really concentrated on this community we're trying to build. When I'm not taking photographs or doodling or watching the hour of tv that I seem to have got myself down to these days, I am inviting people to join our group.
So far we're up to 34 people and the amount of visits at www.coffeerooms.com is definitely picking up. These are all very good things! The hard part is getting people to talk. I haven't figured out this art yet. I know that even though it's the internets and we can "hide" ourselves, people are still a little shy. So what's the secret? Persistence? Do I keep writing in discussions and this blog even though no one is responding out loud? Will they one day? Or am I doomed to talk to myself...like I do when I'm doing the dishes?
I guess only time will tell!
Now that I wrote this blog entry, I can take one of those cars out of the traffic jam. Well, maybe half a car.
Please Don't Tickle Me Elmo
March 30, 2008 comments
Okay, for those of you who haven't visited my photostream on flickr lately, this Elmo shot has just recently hit the "big time". It all started when we (the boy, a coworker and myself) took a walk between the matinée and evening performance. The goal was to head over to Best Buy and browse around, but as luck would have it, for some reason they, and the giant Circuit City were closed that day. Granted it was Easter, but this is NYC. I've never heard of such a thing. So rather than wander around BB, we headed over to Bryant Park. And to think, we would have missed this.
Continue reading "Please Don't Tickle Me Elmo"
Changing My Space (86&87/365)
March 28, 2008 comments
Yesterday a ton of motivation finally slapped me in the face and I finally took over the empty room next to our bedroom and created my own "studio". I prefer studio over office so neener. It's my own space to draw in, work on my photos, decorate and just sit around in. An added bonus, our bedroom has gone from small, stuff and cluttered to wide open. I call it the ballroom now cause the floor is open enough for dancing around on.
Of course, I am the only one likely to break out into dance around here. Yes, even when I'm alone. No, sometimes it is not concious...I just start dancing. Then halfway through I'm all "How long have I been dancing around?" That's when I start to imagine Dooce dropping by with a slab of bacon. Then we'll have a bacon dance off. Whoever wins, gets to eat the freakin' bacon of course.
Yeah, I love my new space. My imagination is already on overdrive.
Pictures and more to come.
I'm a Stagehand and I'm Okay (82-83/365)
March 24, 2008 comments
Work has got me crazy! We just got through our first normal weekend with the play. 5 show weekends are a total pain in the ass in our world. In case you didn't know, all the shows here (off and on Broadway) do 8 show weeks and there's usually two options: a matinée on Wednesday leaving only one performance on Sunday OR a 5 show weekend, which is what we do where I currently work.
We have a show on Friday night. This is show 1 of the so called 5 show weekend. By this time we've been in every day since Tuesday. (Monday being our only day off a week.). On Saturday we come in an hour before "half hour", and by we I mean the technicians. Actors come in at half hour. ("Half hour" is the 30 minutes before the curtain goes up...and that's just a term for when the show starts, there's not always a curtain.). So this means we come in at 12:30 for this show. We run the first show and then have a big break between the matinée and evening performance. For most of us this means grabbing dinner and coming back for a nap because we don't live close enough to go home and relax. With this particular show we have enough time on Saturdays to go see a movie if we wanted because it only runs for an hour and a half.
Continue reading "I'm a Stagehand and I'm Okay (82-83/365)"
Another Dream of Mine (81/365)
March 22, 2008 comments
It's been a quiet but long lived dream of mine to write and illustrate a children's book. This is an old idea I had that I finally got down on paper. It's a start but I'm not sure I have the faith in myself to actually follow through on such a project. Maybe one day!
It reads:
" Follow me to the broken woods,
where things aren't what they seem,
the trees hold woulds and coulds and shoulds,
they sometimes call them dreams."
"The spindely [sp] spider left the perch..."
Maybe some day I can actually finish this thought process.
Graffiti and a New Photoshop Technique
March 21, 2008 comments
This is a shot taken from my subway platform. There is a ton of graffiti lining the wall across the tracks but this one, for obvious reasons, sticks out. It's all alone and rather big. Apparently Pilot Spag is actually two graffiti artists and they're known for tagging over other people's work. Clearly that wasn't the case here. My cousin Todd gave me this information. I can't seem to find it on Google but my searches have been, admittedly, half assed. Maybe you can find something more on "Pilot Spag".
I found a fun photoshop technique last night which I used on this photo. I'm not entirely sure I got the exact effect they described but I have to say, I love the look on this. THe original now looks like a washed out, crappy photo I took on the fly. With this effect, I was able to give it a lot more depth and feeling. I look forward to trying it out on a few more of my "so so" shots.
In other news,
Continue reading "Graffiti and a New Photoshop Technique"
Reminder (74-75/365)
March 15, 2008 comments
Yes, there are three doodles up there for 2 days, but the two portraits go together. both drawn yesterday when I was teasing the boy. He said something and I said "Oh yeah! Well I'm gonna draw your face!" Oooo, burn. It was really funny if you were there...and one of us.
So then I drew myself. Yep, that's me. A perfect likeness. No, not the one with the facial hair, the one with the lighbulb head! It's my latest nickname for myself. It's not a bad thing. Really. It's just, I really do have a long and sometimes lighbulb like head. The boy laughed out loud when he saw it (which is extremely rare) so that lead to me believing it was actually a pretty decent self portrait.
Oh, and the one on top is an actual, bonafide doodle done on a napkin. I scanned it in grey scale but if you look close enough, you can kinda make out the coffee ring at the top. In real life, it is indeed the color of coffee.
So, I feel like I should remind you what I'm doing here, 75 "doodles" in:
Continue reading "Reminder (74-75/365)"
Working and Playing as Hard as I Can (69-71/365)
March 12, 2008 comments
We all know it pays to work hard. It's taught to us early on and throughout the rest of our life. If we're lucky, we get to choose what we work hard at. However, there's another side I've been trying to learn how to balance lately...the play side.
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Ugh!
March 8, 2008 comments
So I wrote an entire entry for about 2 hours before MovableType ate it up, never to return. At first I was pissed. Really pissed. But then I realized that I hated that post anyway and it was probably going to take me another hour to read it over and over and edit it until I decided I still hated it and never posted it anyway. So, thanks MT! You read my future and made it good!
All I really wanted to say is how I'm learning something new and terrifying about my artisitc self. Although I am completely and 100% against censorship, I am totally doing it to myself. I have some how cut off a part of me that, I feel, makes up who I am as an artist/writer/photographer and all because I......care what other people think. Eeeeeew!
All Work AND Play
March 7, 2008 comments
I've been back at work lately. That photo was taken from the roof of my workplace. It's interesting because I really thought my world would collapse when I went back to work. I thought I would give up on my projects, give up on my dreams and give in to the work day taking over my life. Thankfully, I was totally wrong. I bring my sketchbook, laptop, camera and any other implements of destruction with me that I can stuff in a bag and still manage to carry. I am super lucky because I happen to have a job where most of my time is spent waiting around. I actually hate this, with the fiery passion of 1000 suns, but I am able to do more at work for personal gain than most people. I have to count this as a blessing. Even though I do get this time to do my work while... at work.... I still get so frustrated when they don't use me for hours and hours. It's the stubborn side of me.
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Another Month Under My Belt
February 29, 2008 comments
So I've done it. Successfully drawn something every day for two months. This doodle here is number 60! Yeah, I wish it was a little more than a doodle/practice page too but it's what I was feeling. The boy and I were watching Bill Maher and I was just spaced out listening to him most of the time.
However, every time I tried to concentrate on what I was drawing, there's an eyeball. So I learned something about myself here on the final day of February; whenever I snap into consciousness while doodling, I draw a freakin eyeball. So weird. And even weirder is that I know that I'm not alone. A friend of mine does the same exact thing. We discovered this recently when she noticed one of my doodle pages.
So, surely I've learned something else in the last two months. I mean, that is the whole point of this "exercise" isn't it? Well I have, the trick is putting it all into words.
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What did you say?
January 29, 2008 comments
There's only one word I can't say: the 'N' word.
Oh, and petite.
For Men
January 28, 2008 comments
What do women want? Not to talk about it.
